I don’t even know exactly

I don’t even know exactly when I was first exposed to porn. Somewhere around 10. By the time I was 12, I was addicted to pornography. And sometime after, masturbation addiction followed. And it stayed that way for years. Occasionally I’d make a step or two to stop, because I knew it was wrong. But when my one or two steps in the right direction didn’t solve the problem entirely, I gave up. I made countless promises to God and myself to stop. But I never did. I was even suicidal depressed for about 18 months, and my addictions fueled that in a big way. This depression was when I was about 17. Flash forward to today. I’m 22 years old, and have conquered my addictions. That’s not to say I’m without struggle or temptation. But, I am now master over my desires, as opposed to the other way around. How did I do it, and what have the benefits been? Well, I did it because of a series of radical encounters with God, that gave me the will and desire to beat it once and for all. But I beat it through actually setting myself up to succeed. I used my moments of strength to prepare myself for moments of weakness. I had porn blocker apps, an accountability app that reported every single thing I did on my phone or laptop to my friend. I prayed over it. And most of all I learned the valuable lesson of “if you don’t want to slip, don’t stand where it’s slippery.”

If you want to stop, you have to set yourself up to do so. Chances are, your sheer will power isn’t strong enough to stop cold turkey. You need help, like you would with any addiction. I used a combo of multiple apps. The benefits I’ve experienced from freedom are amazing. No more depression, my self image has improved significantly and continues to do so, my perception and view of those around me has changed. My perception of sex has changed in a positive way. I cannot advocate enough for doing absolutely whatever it takes to get free from this addiction. I’m probably rambling at this point. But truly, conquering my addiction is one of the most important things I’ve ever done in my life. It’s not easy, but it’s so much easier when you have a support system.


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